”REGUSTED!”
To quote Redd Fox the junkman.
My stomach has been in semiserious queasiness all day. It started this morning when I opened a new carton of Fancy Feast for “Mr Royalness” The very first can reeked of rotted fish or beef or thousands of migrant workers or the entire creation on Formalhult. I thought I was going to heave as I dumped the glop on his dish and chopped it into bite sized pieces. Good god it stank and looked so revolting. As soon as I put it down he was all over it. He licked the oily liquid first and stopped to wash his moustache and then set upon the solid filth. He was actually “umming” and purring. I thought I was gonna heave!. After he finished I carried the plate to the bathroom and washed it in the sink. I thought I was gonna heave! I put the cleaned plate face down on a pristine part of the litter box and closed the bathroom door and sprayed Febreze under the door. Now I know whet morning sickness must be like.
Back to the kitchen to fix my breakfast. I thought I was gonna puke. I sprayed “Fresh Rain” Febreze into every nook and cranny of the kitchen. Cracked two huge evil looking eggs into a small skillet. In another skillet I piled in a jumble of bacon pieces created by cutting 6 slices into 4 equal lengths. I got so busy arranging bacon that I forgot the eggs. By the time I noticed they had semi-liquified and I decided not to scramble but rather to just flip the whole thing. No matter what I tried they would not flip. Instead I ended up with a rolled up tube affair.. When I thought that was done I plated it and then and only then remembered I wanted hash brown patties. Dropped two frozen patties into hot skillet and proceeded to burn hell out of them. Bacon was done, eggs done, and finally patties seemed cooked. I settled to read newspaper and eat breakfast. Egg tube was rubbery solid and cold in the center. Bacon was great but had all the flavor cooked out of it. Hash browns were icy in center and burnt on the outside. Coffee had no sugar. And newspaper was full of blood and guts and beheadings and etc. I thought I was gonna hurl. Dumped all the crap in the trash and headed out to do combat with Comcast.
On the way I stopped at Whataburger and got a “BOB”. At MacDonalds I got the best cup of real coffee available in America. If Starbucks coffee was free and MacDonald’s was 5$ I would still prefer mickyD.
At Comcast a pretty young thing (Doureit) took care of my problem and explained the extra charges. Did not like it but I did give permission to one of the kids to call a service man to fix an internet problem.
I saw the man who had told me about the “ownership” of beggar street intersections. He was standing on the medium at the intersection of Highway 290 and West Tidwell. That intersection still is and has been under heavy construction for a year. Traffic never stops. I rolled down the window and gave him 2$ and wished him luck. I asked him how he was doing but by that time my light was green and the cars behind were honking.
I was so cold when I got back here I fell into bed and piled on all the cover I could reach.
I will be so glad when I finally learn how to produce edible food every time.
Tomorrow Breakfast--biscuits and sausage gravy, coffee; Lunch—BLT, Apple Juice; Dinner--fried catfish, steamed broccoli, V8 Spicy Hot.
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
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